I'm getting exactly what I deserve.

Wow.  What a difference a few years make… 

There was a time, maybe 15 years ago, when I was caught up in a world of lies.  I told myself:  I wasn’t good enough.  It wasn’t okay to be me. 

Because I believed these lies, I made bad choices.  At that time, I was married to a pathological liar who was always angry and very controlling.  He filled my world with even more lies.  My life was like a “Movie of the Week” most weeks.  In the middle of my confusion and despair, there were times I can remember thinking, “You are getting exactly what you deserve."

Fast forward to just last week…  My life is so radically different. 

I've quit telling myself lies, and I try my best to live out of the truth that I am special.  I am now remarried to a wonderful, sweet man, and we just very happily renewed our wedding vows and celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary.

 In reflecting on our relationship and our happiness last week, for the first time I put it together:  I am getting exactly what I deserve.  This is what I deserved all along.

Thank you, God, for loving me even when I couldn't love myself and for all the changes you have seen me through in my life to bring me to today.  I am grateful now to know the truth.  I can't thank you enough for my beautiful, loving marriage.  Amen.

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.  -Maria Robinson